Operation Rescue Rain- A Story Of Compassion, Bad Weather, Worse Airports, And The Playhouse Detroit
Detroit, MI- Tony Batman’s A Entertainment News – By Alec Lepper: As the Arctic Vortex blasts it’s way through the East Coast and Midwest this week one thing is apparent… It’s freaking COLD outside!
My cousin up in Roscommon took a cup of boiling water and threw it up into the minus 8 degree air and it turned into an icy mist and never even hit the ground. It has closed schools, events have been canceled as well as many flights out of Detroit Metro Airport.
“We got a stripper down we got a stripper down” Don typed in obvious reference Ridley Scott film Black Hawk Down. “Don what the hell are ya going on about?” I then read that the one and only Master Feature Entertainer Lacey Rain was connecting in Detroit from Chicago by way of Raleigh Durham. Due to this Arctic Vortex’s unforgiving sub zero low temperatures many flights at Detroit Metro Airport were canceled leaving Lacey stranded at by far thee worst place you could get stranded. Detroit, MI.
I hit Lacey up on Facebook and told her that my partner and I were at the bar doing some last minuet prep before we get our doors open and that if she needed our help we had her back 100%. Lacey then called my phone and asked if it wasn’t to much trouble if I could scoop her up and take her to a place that was warm and where she could give mouth to mouth resuscitation to a bottle of Kettle One.
I pulled up to the Delta Terminal to find Lacey damn near in tears. Pissed off, freezing and all by herself. Got her in the van and took her over to Playhouse Detroit and immediately made her a chilled double of Chopin Vodka. As we awaited to hear any news regarding Lacey’s flight we talked shop, made some jokes and Lacey began to tell Mike & I about her love for preforming stand up comedy. The jokes began flying and Mike and I were laughing our assess off.
After consuming a few doubles Lacey informed us that she was stuck in the D for yet another chilling evening. We called some friends at the local hotels to grab her a room but to no avail. All were booked due to the high volume of flight cancellations. We decided to head to the Suburbs where my wife and i live, planned on hitting up an Italian Restaurant and maybe showing Lacey a little bit of Detroit. But after being awake for 28 hours even the toughest of broads will tap out. Lacey hit a wall, She passed out in my van before we remotely came close to the restaurant and I checked her in at a hotel down the street from our house and told her to text me when she found out what time her flight was. @10:30 p I got word that Lacey’s Flight left at 730am…. FUCK ME I said… Lacey, being ultra considerate of my time and schedule offered for me to just drive her up there, but I was not about to let one of the SCI’s foremost entertainers spend another night in that shithole known to all as Detroit’s Metro Airport. It really is the worst airport in the country, kinda like a Greyhound Station w/ a Tarmac.
5:30 am came without mercy and I put on coffee and went outside to crank up the prowler! FUCK it’s cold as my gonads crept up into my innards. I made Lacey up a to go coffee and even added a shot of Baileys because well…. It’s Lacey Rain.
Lacey was packed up and ready to go and we braved the cold and began our 20 minuet ride down 275 to the airport. Driving on all that black ice was like trying to drive on a hockey rink… And these pussies in Florida freak out when it rains a little. I arrived at the airport w/ Lacey in tow. We laughed and told stories about friends we shared. Christina Aguchi, Simone Danalustrous, she even told me a story about attacking Tony Batman in New York and force feeding him a bottle of vodka. I in turn told stories about our Planet Platypus escapades in Vegas, Miami & Providence RI.
This girl was faced with an utter shit situation and with a great sense of humor an a whole lot of chutzpah she looked old man winter in the face and made him her bitch. I seriously doubt there isn’t anything she couldn’t handle. I look forward to seeing her again when we book her and Simone for a show here in The D. After taking a nap this afternoon I read on Facebook she made it to Raleigh Durham and her perfect show attendance record will continue to go unblemished. this was very important to Lacey. I have a huge amount of respect of her professionalism, showmanship and her mass amounts of Moxy. You should go see her in Raleigh Durham this weekend.
We give props to our sponsors Sure Fuck Cologne, Vapor4Life.com Strip Clubs Online, The Strip Mall, Skindustry Contests, Monroe’s Palm Beach, Cadillac Lounge RI, Striptaculous Radio, Club OTB Milwaukee, Cafe Royale Long Island, and Xpeeps Live, We are thankful to have such great companies on tour with us.