Shocked Nevada Brothel Owner Dennis Hof Calls It “Saddest Day In 58-Year Bunny Ranch History”
Carson City, NV- Tony Batman’s A Entertainment News – An elderly but randy grandpa who won a free X-rated trip to the Moonlite Bunny Ranch legal brothel died only moments before his dream date with two busty prostitutes was to begin–when he choked to death on an expensive rib eye steak in a local restaurant as horrified diners helplessly looked on.
86 year-old Johnny Orris, a retired farmer from Sullivan, Illinois, had won a bizarre “Get My Grandpa Laid” contest on the Howard Stern radio show in New York City in October, and was flown along with grandson Ed Moody, 49, to the Carson City, Nevada brothel for two days of sexy fun with the Bunny Ranch girls as first prize. Orris was given a rousing reception by a group of three dozen scantily-clad hookers upon his arrival, but when he stepped out to grab a bite to eat just before his carnal encounters were to begin, he met his tragic fate at the hands of a juicy slab of tenderloin.
“This is a horrible, horrible tragedy,” said Bunny Ranch owner Dennis Hof, who had personally greeted Orris in the Bunny Ranch parlor only hours before. “This is without doubt the saddest day in our 58-year history of the Bunny Ranch. Our hearts go out to his family and friends.”
“It was going to be the first time he had sex in many years,” a morose Moody said of his late grandfather, and widower of over a decade. “Ever since he won the contest he’s been super-excited and upbeat about everything, it was like he felt he had a new lease on life. He even said this was going to be the greatest day of his life, and then this happens. I am devastated.”
Orris, along with his grandson and a family friend went to the Sage Room Steakhouse at Harvey’s Lake Tahoe resort casino in South Lake Tahoe for dinner, where the former field-toiler ordered a rib eye steak, exclaiming that he wanted to “bulk up” before he had his go at the working girls.
According to Moody and the friend who shared the final supper with gramps, he was just two mouthfuls into the delectable entrée (accompanied by a generous serving of oysters and a baked potato—a pricey $250 tab for the trio) when he reared up, rasping out, “I can’t breath! I’m choking!”
As Orris struggled for life on the floor of the upscale eatery, Moody, his friend, two security guards, two waiters and finally quickly responding paramedics all applied CPR and the Heimlich maneuver for more than 45 minutes—but to no avail. The plucky octogenarian was pronounced dead at about 8:30pm shortly after being taken by ambulance to local Barton Hospital, according to Lt. Pete Van Arnum of the El Dorado County Sheriff’s office. The El Dorado County Sheriff’s office is expected to conduct an autopsy before determining the official cause of death of the fossil-like former-farm boy.
Just before being done in by the freshly slaughtered sirloin, Orris had arranged to “party” (brothel parlance for a sexual escapade) with Bunny girls Caressa Kisses, and Vanity Affair. Both ladies were anxiously awaiting his return from the dining house, when word came of the untimely passing. The pair immediately broke down crying and were inconsolable.
The mood at the Bunny Ranch as well as the other three brothels owned by Hof in the immediate vicinity ranged yesterday from somber reflection, to outright sobbing over the unexpected loss. Owner Hof has offered to supply counseling to any working girl in need.
Moody spoke warmly about his just-deceased grandpa, fondly recalling the elderly gentleman’s elaborate sexual fantasies about big-breasted black women. “He was a great guy, a great friend, and a great grandfather, I will miss him dearly.”
It was in that spirit of familial kinship that Moody actually returned to the Bunny Ranch later that same night, and in honor of the eldster’s death, took his grandpa’s place in partying with a Bunny girl. Adding to the solemn symbolism of the gesture, Moody made a point of cashing in his grand-dad’s unused—but still valid–“free party” coupon in payment for the party with Sophia Jaye, a very popular prostitute at the bawdy-house.
“I didn’t party with Caressa or Vanity out of respect for my grandfather. They were his favorites, so that wouldn’t have been cool,” opined Moody, “But my grandfather would have wanted me to go on and have a good time in his memory, especially having come so far, from Illinois and all,” adding, “I think he will high-five me in heaven for it when we meet there.”
In accordance with Orris’ previously expressed wishes, he is expected to be cremated locally, with his remains returned to his rural midwestern home.
THE BUNNY RANCH: The world famous Moonlite Bunny Ranch (www.BunnyRanch.com) is featured in the long-running award-winning HBO reality TV series Cathouse, and is the most successful legal brothel in the history of the planet.
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