Mikey And Mandy: Girls Have Always Gone Wild
If you don’t know who Joe Francis is, that’s understandable. However, if you’ve never heard the term ‘Girls Gone Wild,’ then you just landed from the Planet Zerocodoo. Francis had the bright idea of taking a simple video recorder (later, higher-quality equipment) and going to places where Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, like Spring Break, and Sporting Events. They have a few beers, or not, and lift up their shirts. Sometimes they tongue-kiss; sometimes they climb on to someone’s big yacht and do more. I would have to say that the vast majority of these girls are of legal age, but the government is chasing Joe all over Nevada, Florida, and California saying it falls under the Child Protection Act. (More about that Bullshit later!)
Why are they after him? Because he filmed real girls acting naughty. He’s a billionaire now, and everyone with a camcorder wish they’d thought of it first. When I was young, no one felt the need to expose their tits and ass and indulge in girl-girl action on a regular basis, but times change. We used to cuddle and give each other extensive tanning massages on the beach. Of course, if anyone filmed us, we’d scream for the police –mainly because our uptight mothers would get mad.
Today the girls line up to be filmed topless, sit on moving vehicles, and do just about anything to get that “Girls Gone Wild” tee-shirt. It’s the red badge of ultimate cool. Doesn’t mean you can screw any girl who wears it, because here’s the secret. The girls are exhibitionists, they know the power of the boob, and they’re doing it to please themselves. They’re being young. They’re fully alive, hot and having fun. But they still can say no to any further activities.
In fact, it is getting impossible to distinguish the percentage of sanctioned and distributed nude pictures among celebrities, performers, newsmakers, publicity-hyped do-nothings like the Hilton skank, legitimate show biz types, models, wannabe models, American Idols, Politicians, and your normal hormonally-raging college girls. But, here’s my question: Who are they hurting and why does the government demand money (oh well, that’s obvious, they need it to invade countries) and jail time for Joe Francis?
LISTEN UP!
When Nixon went after pornography with the Meese Commission, certain really bad guys did get run out of town, but on the whole, it was aimed at pornography as a concept. And the conclusions were that between consenting adults nothing that did not offend “the community standard” or was considered “prurient” constituted pornography. That’s a wide berth. Of course, during the Clinton years they laid off the subject completely, seeing law enforcement better suited to catching murderers, terrorists, and stuff like that.
Then along came the Internet and the Rabid Religious Right without the right medications. No more would the community standard be ascertained between Berkeley, California and Mobile, Alabama. Now it was GLOBAL, where people in some nations don’t wear clothes, have public sex at Mardi Gras, and act like grown-ups. So the criminal-istic John Ashcroft and Alberto Gonzales of the tragically, almost comically inept and mean-spirited Bush administration created something called The Child Protection Act and lumped consenting adults under it. This meant if you made any type of erotic expression – in the arts, book, the Net itself – you could be judged a Pedophile. A child molester. The website Rough Justice teamed with Dateline NBC to make a industry of catching kiddie demons (unless they were priests, of course), and so now Joe Francis is one of these plagues against society’s standards.
And yet his empire continues to grow.
There’s only one thing Mandy has to say to Joe: Keep Weaving and Dodging.
You’re doing a great job and keeping many men and women of all ages smiling.
The graphics for this article were selected solely on whim. Graphics show that girls have been going wild for centuries and now it’s a major requirement at any event where there’s a women under 100 years old, and a stupid fat guy who sells used cars but acts like a Cyber Pimp.
Whatever. If you’re hot or not, and are around crowds, flash. Drink a few or not. Flash some tits and ass. Even Puritanical America applauds that at a sporting game. Go ahead – get that T-shirt wet. Oh, by the way, imitation is the highest form of flattery, Joe. It seems now that clay female figures from Singapore also go wild, and there is a site for Dead Girls gone Wild (they’re not really dead—not even a good make-up job)
because as all we good porno purveyors know, necrophilia is against the law.
